How the Maintenance & Co-Parenting System Spills Into the Workplace — and Why It Harms Mothers, Especially Single Mothers

The Labour Act, Occupational Health and Safety Act, Employment Equity Act requires employers to have policy and regulations to protect employees from all harm yet we see a huge gap in the protection of mothers particularly single mothers.

My Safer Workspace programme includes employees who are vicitims of domestic violence in and post-relationship abuse. There is so much stigma and shame around vicitms of abuse due to the lack of understanding of all the intersections and normalisation of gender roles of which many are coercive and controlling, which is in itself abuse.

Lets unpack how the Maintenance & Co-Parenting System Spills Into the Workplace.

𝟭. 𝗛𝗼𝘄 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗠𝗮𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲 & 𝗖𝗼-𝗣𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗦𝘆𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗺 𝗦𝗽𝗶𝗹𝗹𝘀 𝗜𝗻𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗪𝗼𝗿𝗸𝗽𝗹𝗮𝗰𝗲.

When the legal system allows men to be revolving fathers without consistent support, it creates a silent workplace penalty for women:

𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐁𝐮𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐧:

• Mothers become the default parent and are responsible for the bulk of school runs, sick days, emergencies, extra-murals, and admin.

• Irregular or last-minute father involvement means schedules are unpredictable, women have to adjust or take time off, which can be perceived as unreliability and disorganised.

  
  

𝗙𝗶𝗻𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗶𝗮𝗹 𝗣𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘀𝘂𝗿𝗲:

Unpaid or inconsistent maintenance forces women to:

• Take on more shifts/overtime, spend less time doing care work

• Seek side hustles.

• Request salary advances or loans which increases vulnerability.

• Undergo debt review.

• Be Blacklisted which restricts economic opportunities and encrises the risk of shelter security.

  
  

This financial strain can lead to taking on lower-paid and or “flexible” work reducing career growth potential.

𝗘𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗗𝗿𝗮𝗶𝗻:

• Maintenance disputes, court dates, and dealing with coercive ex-partners can affect concentration, energy, and resilience at work.

• Women may avoid sharing the reality for fear of being seen as “distracted” or “not committed.”

𝟮. 𝗨𝗻𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗰𝗶𝗼𝘂𝘀 & 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗰𝗶𝗼𝘂𝘀 𝗪𝗼𝗿𝗸𝗽𝗹𝗮𝗰𝗲 𝗕𝗶𝗮𝘀.

The patriarchal narrative shapes how colleagues and leaders see mothers in these situations:

“Reliability” Bias - Women with caregiving duties are seen as more likely to be absent or distracted and passed over for high-visibility projects, leadership roles, or promotions.

“Commitment” Bias - Assumption that career takes second place to parenting and therefor less investment in training or mentorship.

“Drama” Bias" - If legal/parenting disputes are known, women are seen as bringing personal problems to work and excluded from networking opportunities or sensitive roles.

“Flexibility” Penalty - Requesting flexible hours is seen as special treatment and leads to resentment from peers and managers.

“Good Mother” Trap - Expectation to prioritise children above all else but punished professionally for doing so.

Women can’t “win” they are judged harshly whether they prioritise work or family.

𝟯. 𝗪𝗼𝗿𝗸𝗽𝗹𝗮𝗰𝗲 𝗛𝗶𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗿𝗰𝗵𝘆 𝗨𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿 𝗣𝗮𝘁𝗿𝗶𝗮𝗿𝗰𝗵𝘆.

In many corporate environments, a gendered hierarchy still exists, even when it’s not openly acknowledged:

1. White, child-free men in leadership roles are seen as the “ideal worker” who is fully available and no caregiving conflicts.

2. Married men with children are viewed as stable, family-oriented, and in need of career progression to “support their family.”

3. Child-free women are more likely to be seen as committed, but still face gender stereotypes about leadership and assertiveness.

4. Married women without children are viewed as “available” now but often assumed to be a pregnancy risk.

5. Mothers in stable two-parent households are still penalised for caregiving duties, but less so than single mothers.

6. Single mothers / primary caregivers are lowest on the perceived reliability ladder; face the heaviest bias and least structural support.

𝟰. 𝗪𝗵𝘆 𝗧𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗶𝘀 𝗦𝘁𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗣𝗮𝘁𝗿𝗶𝗮𝗿𝗰𝗵𝘆 𝗮𝘁 𝗪𝗼𝗿𝗸

Legal bias → Economic bias: Courts enforce fathers’ rights to contact but don’t enforce maintenance as rigorously, pushing economic strain onto mothers.

Economic strain → Workplace bias: The strain affects performance, perception, and promotion opportunities.

Workplace bias → Career stagnation: Women remain in lower-paying roles, reinforcing the economic dependence patriarchy thrives on.

Cycle continues: Lower earnings mean less access to quality legal help, which keeps them at the mercy of the same biased legal system.

𝟱. 𝗛𝗶𝗱𝗱𝗲𝗻 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗲𝗾𝘂𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲.

Many corporate diversity and inclusion policies don’t explicitly address the structural discrimination single mothers face. They might have maternity leave, but not:

Paid time for maintenance court appearances.

Support for flexible hours without career penalty.

Recognition of economic abuse as a workplace wellbeing issue.

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗸 𝗯𝗲𝘁𝘄𝗲𝗲𝗻 𝗹𝗮𝗰𝗸 𝗼𝗳 𝗺𝗮𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗲𝗻𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗰𝗲𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸𝗽𝗹𝗮𝗰𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗲𝗾𝘂𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲𝘀, 𝘃𝘂𝗹𝗻𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗯𝗶𝗹𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗲𝘀, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗿𝗶𝘀𝗸𝘀 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗴𝗹𝗲 𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝗳𝗿𝗮𝗺𝗲𝗱 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗯𝗼𝘁𝗵 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗶𝗺𝗺𝗲𝗱𝗶𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗲𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗰𝘁𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗹𝗼𝗻𝗴𝗲𝗿-𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗺 𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗲𝗿 𝗶𝗺𝗽𝗮𝗰𝘁𝘀.

𝟭. 𝗗𝗶𝗿𝗲𝗰𝘁 𝗪𝗼𝗿𝗸𝗽𝗹𝗮𝗰𝗲 𝗜𝗺𝗽𝗮𝗰𝘁𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝗟𝗮𝗰𝗸 𝗼𝗳 𝗠𝗮𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗘𝗻𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗰𝗲𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁:

a) Financial Instability

Consequence: Single mothers have to stretch one income to cover two parents’ worth of expenses such as housing, food, school fees, medical aid, transport.

Workplace Effect: Increased pressure to accept overtime, side hustles, or multiple jobs leading to burnout.

Reduced capacity to invest in career development (courses, conferences, networking).

Higher absenteeism linked to financial stress (e.g., unpaid transport costs, inability to afford childcare).

b) Time Poverty

Consequence: Without reliable financial support, mothers take on more caregiving and household responsibilities alone.

Workplace Effect: Difficulty working late or attending early/after-hours meetings.

More frequent leave requests for school events, sick children, or emergencies.

Reduced flexibility to travel for work or take on high-demand projects.

c) Emotional and Cognitive Load

Consequence: Ongoing court battles, chasing arrears, and dealing with uncooperative ex-partners adds to mental strain.

Workplace Effect: Decreased focus and productivity.

Higher stress-related absenteeism.

Risk of being perceived as “distracted” or “unreliable.”

𝟮. 𝗩𝘂𝗹𝗻𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗯𝗶𝗹𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗲𝘀 𝗖𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗪𝗼𝗿𝗸𝗽𝗹𝗮𝗰𝗲:

• Economic Dependency on Employer

• With no financial cushion, single mothers are less able to resign from toxic or unsafe work environments.

• Employers (consciously or unconsciously) can exploit this dependency expecting more availability, accepting lower pay, or tolerating poor treatment.

• Career Penalty for Flexibility Needs

• Requests for flexible hours or remote work may be labelled as “lack of commitment.”

• Leads to being overlooked for promotions or leadership roles.

• Increased Risk of Workplace Discrimination

• Single mothers may be excluded from “big” projects because of an assumption they “won’t cope” or “won’t have the time.”

• May be bypassed for salary increases due to stereotypes about “secondary income” not being necessary (even though they are the sole provider).

• Exposure to Workplace Harassment or Coercion

• Financial vulnerability can make single mothers more susceptible to accepting inappropriate behaviour from colleagues or superiors to avoid losing income.

• In extreme cases, this can create conditions for sexual harassment or exploitation.

  
  

𝟯. 𝗟𝗼𝗻𝗴-𝗧𝗲𝗿𝗺 𝗖𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗲𝗿 𝗥𝗶𝘀𝗸𝘀:

• Stalled Career Growth: Missing out on promotions and skill-building opportunities keeps women in lower pay brackets.

• Widened Gender Pay Gap: The combination of unpaid maintenance and lower earning potential entrenches economic inequality.

• Retirement Insecurity: Less disposable income means lower retirement savings, deepening long-term vulnerability.

• Cycle of Poverty: Children in single-mother households may have fewer educational and economic opportunities, perpetuating intergenerational inequality.

  
  

𝗪𝗵𝘆 𝗧𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗶𝘀 𝗮 𝗣𝗮𝘁𝗿𝗶𝗮𝗿𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗹 𝗪𝗼𝗿𝗸𝗽𝗹𝗮𝗰𝗲 𝗜𝘀𝘀𝘂𝗲 and 𝗡𝗼𝘁 𝗝𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗮 “𝗣𝗿𝗶𝘃𝗮𝘁𝗲” 𝗣𝗿𝗼𝗯𝗹𝗲𝗺?

The legal system’s failure to enforce maintenance isn’t a private family matter, it’s a structural economic inequality issue that bleeds directly into workplace participation and progression.

By ignoring it, workplaces inadvertently reinforce the patriarchal cycle:

Men keep their earnings with little accountability and women shoulder the financial and emotional cost.

Employers benefit from women’s over-dependence on their salaries, even while penalising them for caregiving demands.